2013 Billboard Awards /Phresh
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2013 Billboard Awards

With the conclusion of the 2013 Billboard Music Awards the internet was abuzz with the nights many winners and losers. However it wasn’t so much who took home that gold statue in most cases that determined who won and lost. Phresh presents the real winners and losers of the 2013 Billboards Music Awards.

LOSERS

Rap

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The fact that Psy of Gangnam Style fame was nominated in every rap category was in itself weak as hell, but then thrift shop took home the best rap song nod over actual rap song Mercy was enough to justify a Jay-z like Boycott of the Billboards.

Miguel

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They say any press is good press right? Well everyone is talking about R&B singer Miguel’s performance since he went WWE and Hulk Hogan leg dropped an unsuspecting fan after trying to long jump a pit full of people while wearing skinny jeans and high heels. Within minutes the memes were circulating around Twitter and Facebook. Miguel may have lost with that move, but his Mortal Kombat fatality maneuver will forever be a winner in our hearts.

Madonna’s fugazi british accent

It was gone… Thankfully

Rock Music

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With group Fun. winning the Top Rock Artist category I’m sure all the real Rock bands and fans cringed… being that Fun isn’t as much Rock as it is Middle Earth Hobbit Retro Folk Hymns.

Us?

With Justin Bieber taking home an award over Bruno Mars, who in the opinion of many puts out higher quality music, we only have ourselves to blame as the Billboards are based on sales. They should have an award for most illegally downloaded artist. Not that we condone that, we’re just curious.

WINNERS

Girl Miguel Leg Dropped

Despite losing 40% of her vision and the feeling in the left side of her face, she was indeed a winner in essence by getting partially decapitated on national TV since afterwards she got to hang with Miguel with an Ice Pack in hand and get her 15 minutes of partially conscious fame.

Drake

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Yea Drake wasn’t actually nominated for anything. Since Drake debuted his throwback Dada jersey look in his latest video the internet has gone nuts with the meme making, however Miguel took all that attention away with his Rey Mysterio impression.

Aspiring Lap Dancers Everywhere

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Yea Nicki Minaj put away the colored hair and voices for a minute and embraced her inner hood rat for her performance with Lil Wayne at the Billboards, but the real winner was the Lap Dance showing aspiring lap dancers world wide never give up… you too can gyrate and make it pop in front of millions one day. Stay vigilant.

Pitbull

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90% of current rappers would most likely change places with Mr. Worldwide since he is virtually inescapable at this point and has done more with less (talent) than most of us could ever imagine.

Ass Lovers Everywhere

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I’m not talking about what Madonna was bringing to the table nahhh, but J Lo. and Nicki Minaj came though in the clutch. Whether synthetic or grown with that rice and beans diet we can appreciate both types.

Prince

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He forever wins off GP… it’s self explanatory.

Us?

With the chorus of boos that met Bieber as he accepted his last award we can only hope the force feeding of this fad singer via all radio outlets will end ever so shortly.